I used to make New Year\u2019s resolutions that unraveled by the end of January \u2014 like my big plan to get my finances in order at the start of 2019 (and 2020, and 2021). But last year, after several of my friends lost parents, I made a resolution that I\u2019ve been able to keep.<\/p>\n

I decided to check in with these friends about the small but important moments in their lives.<\/p>\n

One had told me that her mother was the only person who followed up on the little things by asking: How was your doctor\u2019s appointment? Is your dog feeling any better? How did that cookie recipe turn out?<\/p>\n

So now I jot down reminders to ask about a friend\u2019s test results or how their kid did in the school play. I\u2019ve also gently prodded them to make medical appointments.<\/p>\n

These everyday exchanges have shifted our friendships into something far deeper, making me feel as if my friends are more like family. I realized that we had often communicated only the headlines of our lives \u2014 a new job, a big breakup \u2014 but that the mundane details add more texture to our bonds. Nothing says \u201cI see you, and I\u2019m paying attention\u201d more than when a friend texts to ask if your basement is still flooded.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n